What did you want, Ms. Jones? I've got stuff I've got to do in the other room. I'm behind the eight ball here. Please, what did you need? Well, you know that I was supposed to direct the Virginia today. Well, what does that have to do with me? I don't have nothing to do with what you do in your spare time. That has nothing to do with me. The guy that was supposed to host for me, he got sick, and he's not able to do it, and I need somebody to help me. Come on, could you help me? Hello? Not an actor here. I mean, I don't do that. I mean, what are you talking about? You're the only one I got Oh well doesn't that make me feel special now Well you know what I mean There's not a whole lot that can do That kind of a job I think you could do it But I'm not an actor I don't want an actor I just want somebody to host a show I want you to be natural Oh fuck Well don't start bawling or anything I mean, good n- Ah, fine. I'll do it. I'll do it. But if this flops, it's not on me. It's on you. One day at a time. Good morning, everyone. This is Virginia Today, and I am your fill-in host, Pastor Jay. I am Jason LeVarren. Many of you know me as Pastor Jay from the First Community Church here in our little community. Let me be the first to say I didn't want to do this, but I didn't have no choice. My secretary, Ms. Jones, is directing this episode, and our host, Farley Ranger. Farley Ranger, is that a real name? Is that his real name? I mean, Farley, who names their kid Farley Ranger? Farley Ranger? Really? Anyway, he's not available today, so I'm trying to fill in for him to kind of help out Miss Jones. So anyway we going to talk a little bit about Virginia today Hey that was a pretty cool thing That is Virginia Today We going to talk a little bit about Virginia Today Hey that was a pretty cool thing Virginia Today We going to talk a little bit about Virginia Today Virginia Today. That was good, wasn't it, Ms. Jones? Was that good? That was pretty good, wasn't it? Virginia Today. Anyway. But anyway, I do have some things, some announcements we've got to let people know about in our community here. So I got these on the phone here. They want me to do this. So all right. So just to let you know, the scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. All proceeds will be used to cripple children. All proceeds will be used to cripple children. Did somebody read this before I... I mean... Okay. Anyway, I think what they meant to say was going to be used to help crippled children. Yeah, so I don't know who wrote that. Let's move on here. Anyway, one of the churches in our area has made this announcement that the outreach community of their church have enlisted 25 visitors to make calls upon people who are not afflicted with any church. Afflicted. Who is running this program? Ms. Jones, are you reading these things before you hand them to me? I mean, I'm not reading it wrong. It says afflicted. I mean, I think the word was meant to be affiliated. What is going on here? I don't understand this. I mean, come on, people. I mean, get a proofreader. What's going on here? Anyway. Anyway. anyway anyway let's let's move on here's here's a good one uh this is uh sitting uh by someone uh one of our uh listener our watchers here uh they said remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community sick of our church and community somebody is not is somebody making fun of me here that's exactly what it says remember in prayer the many who are sick of our churches and community. Is it somebody am I on a camera here or am I on punk or something? I don't understand this. Somebody's making a fool out of me here. I don't like this. We'll be right back after this. I going to find out about this Okay, welcome back to Virginia Today. Apparently, I am, this is real life. I'm not being punked. I don't, I don't, I'm not on candid camera or anything. I don't know. Anyway, Virginia Today is brought to you by the fine folks at Honey's Best Yogurt. Take a big spoonful and tell the audience how good it is. Oh, that's the stage direction. I'm sorry. Oh! Do I have to do this? Really? Do I have to do this? Oh! Do I really have to eat this? Alright. Honey's best yogurt. It's a B of a good time. Oh my goodness! Oh! Pick up one today. I ain't eating no more of this. Just so you know, I'm not eating no more of this. I'm telling you. We'll be back after this. Somebody get me some water. anyway so that's some interesting uh uh notes about our town our little community here uh and And we'll have some more of that next week on Virginia Today. We kind of started off kind of bad, but we ended on a high note. So thank you for joining me today. And your host will be back next week, hopefully. We won't see you, but he'll see you. I guess he won't see you because this is a television. So he won't see you. Anyway, have a blessed day. Bye, everyone, and be tuning in next week for more Virginia Today. Bye. What do you need now? Oh, you wouldn't believe it. The switchboard lit up like crazy. The people went wild. They loved you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Whoa. Oh, hold on. Pull back on the reins, you know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go where I think you're going here. They want you back all the time now. Everett, you want me to do this every week? I don't want to do this every week. I don't want to do this every week. I don't think you have a choice what do you mean? because you went out there and you made it so nice and they enjoyed it and you had a good time and they had a good time and they just liked you and so now you don't have a choice you got to do this now Oh, I... See, you're going to make me do this every week. Oh, my goodness. I can't believe I've got to do this every week now. Oy vey. What you got me into? Well, now tell you what Me as director and you as host We're gonna do this Every week now Sometimes life is a little heavy Sometimes life's a little hard to bear Feel like I'm all alone Oh, but I know one who really cares So one day at a time, no matter what's in my way I'm not giving up for it, no matter what others say With the Lord at my side, I'm never alone I'm destined to win, so step by step I'll take it One day at a time One Day at a Time One Day at a Time One Day at a Time One Day at a Time
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